November 30, 2023

Trolling Netflix, my wife and I stumbled upon David Lynch’s 1984 film, “Dune.” I’d read the Frank Herbert sci-fi novel in the ’70s; hadn’t remembered this film version; nor seen the more recent one.

“1984?” My wife said. “This will be retro.” Boy was she right.

Lynch, a major film auteur, both wrote the screenplay and directed, so it seemed worth watching. And the cast was stellar, including Patrick Stewart, Jose Ferrer, Max von Sydow, and Francesca Annis. But Lynch seemed to make this a clownish parody of old sci-fi Flash Gordon type flicks. Instructing the actors to deliver their lines as woodenly as possible.

Though set millennia hence, the ambience is very mid-Twentieth Century. Lots of military uniforms evoking that era. Early on, an alien being visiting the (human) galactic emperor arrives in what resembles a locomotive — replete with steam hissing from side-pipes.

The hero, Paul Atreides, is first seen working at a desktop computer. Computers existed in 1984, but personal ones weren’t yet really a thing.

So this scene was meant to look futuristic. Yet Paul’s set-up seemed a lot clunkier than what I’ve long had. Amazing how far back 1984 was.

The villain is a cartoon one, with standard cackling, his face afflicted with nasty boils, which some creepy medic is working to relieve — or accentuate? — when first we meet the S.O.B. His name, presciently enough, is Vladimir.

And what was up with those preposterous furry eyebrows on what should have been some serious characters?

My wife and I were laughing our heads off at almost every scene. After we watched about a third of the film, I checked Wikipedia to learn whether this was in fact meant to be a comedy. It was not. Reviews were mostly ghastly. The special effects seemed amateurish given the movie’s bloated budget. The story an incoherent mess. The film deservedly bombed.

After I briefed my wife on my findings, we deliberated and reached a joint decision to forgo watching the rest.

And then we viewed the much better 2021 Dune film (actually only Part One, the second part due in 2024). Not nearly as funny; the technology far whizzier; but again a bizarre mash-up of futuristic and throwback. (This story unfolds about 8000 years hence — assuming they’re still using AD dates.)

Much here evokes Imperial Rome, and even older civilizations. Looked like some Assyrian style reliefs. Would they really still have titles like “Duke?” And I keep reading articles in The Economist on “the future of warfare,” but in this movie it’s hand-to-hand swordplay. Combatants do have some kind of flashy force field — functionless as far as I could tell, except to give these atavistic scenes a sci-fi vibe. Doesn’t keep hapless soldiers from being mowed down in droves.

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